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Things to Do in Heaven When You're Dead
}} Roy sees the attractions available in Paradise. Cast * Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Eugene Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Roy's Archon ▶ * Choir of Cherubim ◀ * An Elf * A Debater * Two Angels * Two Trolls * A Gorgon Transcript Roy passes through the gates and begins walking up a mountain. A glowing orange orb awaits him. Roy's Archon: Welcome to the mountain, Roy. Roy's Archon: I'll be your guide through the Celestial Realm until you settle in—or get raised. Roy: Thanks, uh, little ball of light. Roy's Archon: Actually, my name is "Roy's Archon". Roy: That... Roy: ...is incredibly convenient. Roy's Archon: Exactly. Roy's Archon: Now, I've taken the liberty of preparing a map with a few of the attractions that I felt may appeal to you. Roy: "Attractions"? Roy's Archon: Sure. We couldn't call it Paradise if you just sat around all the time doing nothing. A female elf holding a mug of beer stands in front of a tavern. Roy's Archon: For example, I've highlighted the Tavern of Infinite One-Night Stands... Elf: I'm really interested in hearing you talk about yourself. A robed man stands in front of a Classic Greek building. Roy's Archon': ...the Debate Hall Where You're Always Right... Debater: Huh. You know, I never really thought about it that way... Two Devas face an assortment of monsters a pair of trolls and a gorgon. Roy's Archon: ...and the Dungeon of Monsters That Are Just Strong Enough to Really Challenge You. Angel #1: Wait, so if I have two CR 11's and I add a CR 8, what EL does that add up to? Angel #2: Oh, just eyeball it already. Roy: Is there any place to eat? Roy's Archon: Well, you don't strictly NEED to eat anymore, but if you just want to enjoy the taste of food, I'd recommend All Steaks Go to Heaven, just past the Bless-asteria. Roy: What's this big red star? Roy's Archon: That's your mother's house. I recommend going there first. Roy's Archon: When you've been here a while, you can requisition your own house, but until then, you'll be staying with your closest relative. Roy: Which is my mother. Roy's Archon: Which is your mother, yes. Roy: So... I could have all the one-night stands I want, but I'd have to have them at my Mom's house? Roy: Are you trying to make people feel guilty about sex? Roy's Archon: Actually, yes. We've found that our Lawful patrons generally expect it that way. D&D Context * CR stands for Challenge Rating and EL stands for Encounter Level. In D&D Dungeon Masters are encouraged to treat challenge rating and encounter levels merely as a guideline, and to "eyeball" or "wing it" whenever they don't like the figures (which are considered quite approximate). Further reading, on the RPG.Net forums. * The two green monsters in the seventh panel are Trolls * The grey bull with smoke coming out of its nostrils is a Gorgon which in D&D is a distinct type of creature from a Medusa (which is also not a unique creature in D&D). Trivia * The title is a reference to either the song or the movie Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead. * This is the final appearance of the choir of Cherubim from the previous strip. External Links * 492}} View the comic * 59515}} View the discussion thread Category:Roy's Afterlife